Your Gamer Needs to Touch Grass.

We send a real grass mat — anonymously — with your custom roast note. Perfect for the gamer who hasn't seen sunlight since 2019.

Send Grass Now

Why Send Grass?

  • 🤫 100% Anonymous

    Your identity stays completely secret. They'll never know it was you.

  • ✍️ Custom Handwritten Note

    We personally write your roast message by hand. Your words, our penmanship, their pain.

  • 📦 Discreet Packaging

    Ships in a plain white envelope. Zero clues. Maximum mystery.

  • 🌍 Free Worldwide Shipping

    No hidden costs, ever. Ships to your gamer anywhere in the world.

How It Works

  • 1. Write Your Roast

    Pick your target, write what they need to hear. Funny. Brutal. Loving. Whatever fits.

  • 2. We Handwrite & Ship

    We personally write your message on a piece of paper included with the touch grass mat and mail it anonymously.

  • 3. They Touch Grass

    They open it. They read it. They consider going outside. Mission accomplished — or at least attempted.

what others have sent

So... what would YOU write? Someone you know is one handwritten note away from touching grass.

Roast note card

Arc Raiders is a game about surviving the outside. Ironic, given you haven't been outside since it launched.

You've switched mains 47 times this season. Maybe the real support you need is some fresh air.

Your rank dropped again. Your car also dropped. Out of the arena. Maybe touch grass instead of boosting.

Congrats on 3,000 hours in Elden Ring. Here's some grass. Touch it.

Your friends miss you. Your couch doesn't. Here's a reminder the outdoors exists.

You've been indoors since 2020. Not for COVID reasons. Just vibes. Touch grass.

-- e

Level 99 in the game. Level 2 in real life. Here's a reminder the sun is free.

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Sometimes People Need a Gentle Reminder.

Send Grass Now →